Two years ago, you got involved in an affair that changed everything for you.
Honestly, it’s still happening, and now you have to figure out if you should end your current marriage to be with this other person or if you should let them go.
Here’s what to consider about whether an affair can be true love and what you should do if it is.
Can Extramarital Affairs Be True Love?
Yes, they can. But it’s not common, and even if it does happen, making it work requires strength, determination, and consistency.
After all, cheating is a betrayal, plain and simple.
It’s usually not a good beginning.
But love has a funny way of showing up when you least expect it.
So here’s what you need to know about affairs and whether they could mean something more than just a brief thing.
1. Rarely, but it Happens
Can affairs outside of marriage turn into real love?
Well, the short answer is: Yes, they can.
Some couples do fall in love during an affair and end up staying together happily.
It definitely can happen.
But, here’s the thing:
It’s not common for affairs to lead to true love or long-lasting relationships that work out.
There are many reasons for this, but it basically comes down to this:
- Cheaters often cheat again.
- For men, affairs are usually more about sex than love.
- The complications of divorce, custody battles, and breakups make it hard to start a new relationship without a lot of pain.
- Many times, affairs seem exciting and new because they’re forbidden and naughty. But once that excitement wears off, it often turns out that the only “true love” was temporary and just lust. However, sometimes affairs do turn into real love!
So, let’s keep digging deeper.
How can you tell if an affair is true love, and what can you do about it if it is?
2. Affairs Always Cause Pain
No affair happens without a cost.
The price is a broken heart for at least one person, and often more.
At the very least, the person being left behind by the cheater is going to feel heartbroken or deeply upset.
The person you’re having the affair with is also likely to feel heartbroken about the end of their relationship.
And if there are kids involved, it becomes even harder and sadder to end the old relationship and start a new one.
Whether you’re the one having the affair or the other person involved, there’s going to be a lot of drama and sadness.
Even if it’s true love, it’s going to hurt.
Can lasting love come from pain? Yes, but it won’t be easy.
Love alone isn’t always enough. But love is a good start, and if you’re lucky and handle things right, it can lead to something great.
3. Your Real Love Could Be Their Fling
Another important thing to remember about this topic is that what feels like true love to you might not be the same for the other person.
You might be head over heels for the person you’re cheating with, but they might not feel the same way about you.
To them, you might just be someone to call for a quick chat after spending time together.
On the other hand, they might be falling for you deeply, while you see them as just a good-looking body.
It’s not romantic, but it’s important not to assume that your feelings are mutual.
In an affair, the person who’s not cheating often ends up falling in love…
But the cheater might see it more as just a way to satisfy their sexual desires or have someone to talk to on the side.
They might not be as emotionally invested, so be careful if you’re starting to fall in love.
It’s always wise to take things slow in love, especially when it comes to relationships that started as affairs.
4. Will They Stay or Go?
If you’re wondering whether extramarital affairs can be true love, here’s what you need to consider:
Will they leave their spouse for you?
Feeling a strong love connection is one thing, but actually ending their marriage is a whole different story.
It’s a classic scenario:
Someone is cheating on their spouse and having an affair. They share intimate moments physically and emotionally with their new partner. They make plans for the future together…
But when it comes down to it, they don’t leave their spouse for this new relationship, even if there is love involved.
Instead, they go back to the safety and comfort of their marriage.
This can be really disappointing, so be cautious about getting too invested in someone before you know if they’re willing to divorce or not.
5. Be Honest About Your Situation
Another crucial aspect to consider about extramarital affairs and their potential for more is to assess your own situation objectively.
If you’re involved in cheating, or if someone is cheating to be with you, there’s likely a lot happening in your life.
Take a step back and honestly evaluate your circumstances.
Are you ready for a serious relationship?
Think about your past relationships.
When was your last significant love, and how did it end?
If this affair is genuine love and you’re confident about mutual commitment, then how will you handle practical matters like custody, divorce, living arrangements, careers, and so forth?
Love is one thing, but building a life together is another.
It can be challenging to navigate the practical aspects and make things work out.
It’s not impossible, but it’s definitely tough!
6. Value Yourself the Most
It’s really important to value yourself above everything else.
If you’re somehow involved in an affair, you might feel like your boundaries are being pushed too far.
If the other person is cheating to be with you, they might make you feel like you’re not a priority and should just take whatever they give you.
If you’re the one cheating, you might feel like you’re not being honest with yourself by being with someone new without ending things with your spouse first.
In both situations, it’s crucial to prioritize your own self-respect.
Respecting yourself also means respecting others. That includes the person you’re cheating with, your partner, your family, and sticking to your own boundaries.
It’s also important to be completely honest.
- If it’s just about sex for you, be upfront about it.
- If you’re developing feelings, be open about that too.
7. How Strong and How Long?
When considering if your affair could be real love, it’s time to assess some things.
Think about how long it’s been going on and how intense it’s been.
Have there been promises made, or has it been more spontaneous?
Who initiated it, and who seems more invested?
Is it mainly about sex, or is there a romantic side to it?
Have either of you confessed deeper feelings for each other?
How comfortable are you both with talking openly and sharing your emotions?
Reflecting on these aspects of your affair can help you understand its potential for the future.
8. True Fulfillment Can’t Be Forced
When strong feelings are involved, it’s natural to want something serious.
But you can’t force it.
For any relationship to work, both people need to be fully committed.
This is especially true for love that starts as an affair.
Even if you both love each other, making it work requires both of you to be fully on board.
And, you have to be ready for judgment and criticism from others.
Affairs often fall short of love, and even when it is love, turning it into a committed relationship is a whole different challenge.
Here’s What You Need To Know:
Can extramarital affairs turn into true love?
Yes, they can. But it’s quite uncommon.
It might also mean making big life changes, like moving or changing jobs, dealing with custody issues if there are kids involved, and much more.
Is love worth it?
Absolutely!
But don’t rush into things too quickly.
Sometimes, the excitement and secrecy of an affair can make it feel like love when it’s really just infatuation or intense attraction.
Take your time, think it over, and talk about it openly.
If you still feel the same way, see where it leads and what you both agree on.
Wrapping Up
Can extramarital affairs lead to true love?
Yes, but it’s risky.
Most of the time, they end in disappointment or chaos.
Even if it turns out to be real love, turning it into a stable relationship will be tough and take a lot of time and tears.
If you’re ready for that and sure this is the love of your life, then go for it.
But stay smart.
Love can surprise you in unexpectedly, but sometimes it’s just an illusion.
