Falling for the wrong person is tough.
But, being cheated on by someone you trusted is even harder.
You may think if you are kind and loyal, your partner wouldn’t cheat. But for some people, that’s not enough.
Feeling hurt and betrayed is normal.
But if both of you want to fix things, you can move forward.
Setting boundaries is key.
Keep reading to learn how to do that!
1. Understand What Happened Together
Finding out about cheating can be really tough.
It’s like a wave of emotions crashing down on you. You might feel lost and not sure what to do next. But there are some steps you can take to start feeling better.
First, it’s okay to feel angry, hurt, and betrayed. Don’t try to push these feelings away. They’re normal, just like breathing!
After you’ve given yourself time to feel your emotions, it’s important to talk honestly with your partner. Ask him to explain what happened, why it happened, and how they plan to fix things. It might be hard, but having this conversation can help you both move forward.
2. Be Clear and Precise About Your Expectations
Your boundaries need to be clear so your partner knows what’s okay and what’s not. Tell them exactly what behaviors you won’t accept and what will happen if they cross those lines.
For example, you might want transparency in your relationship. You might feel better knowing where your partner is or having access to their phone and social media.
Talk about these things together and find a balance that works for both of you.
You might also expect them to cut off contact with the person they cheated with or spend less time with certain friends.
And don’t be afraid to set consequences if they cheat again.
They need to understand how serious it is.
“Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice, shame on me.“
3. Stick to Your Limits
Once you’ve figured out what’s okay and what’s not, stick to your boundaries. If your partner crosses a line, follow through with the consequences you’ve set.
Let me tell you about Sarah.
She found out her husband, John, cheated on her after five years of marriage. It was heartbreaking, but she decided to forgive him after thinking things over.
Sarah knew forgiveness didn’t mean she’d let him off easy. She sat him down and had a serious talk. She told him how much he hurt her and said if he wanted to stay married, he had to be honest and open from then on.
Sarah set clear boundaries. She said no more lies or sneaking around.
Luckily, John listened and started being honest about everything.
You can do the same! Stick to your boundaries and be clear about what you’re not comfortable with. If something seems suspicious, speak up before it becomes a bigger problem.
4. Talk Honestly
In addition to sticking to your boundaries, it’s crucial to talk openly with your partner. Open communication is key in any relationship, especially after cheating.
Set aside some time to chat with them, just the two of you.
Listen to each other without judging!
Share your feelings and discuss what happened. This can help clear the air and resolve any issues between you.
Hopefully, you can forgive each other, but remember, it’s a process!
Remember, forgiveness doesn’t mean forgetting.
Keep talking honestly to rebuild trust and understanding. Let your partner know why your boundaries are important and how they can support you.
5. Share These Phrases with Your Partner
Always, it’s important to tell your partner what you need.
Tell your boyfriend exactly what would make you feel better and more secure. If you want to feel the same way, try saying these things to them when necessary:
- “I need you to be honest with me.”
- “I need you to take responsibility for your actions.”
- “I need you to be patient with me.”
- “I need you to respect me and my boundaries.”
Read: Why He’s Liking Your Social Media Posts But Not Texting You?
6. Notice Any Changes in Your Relationship
Once you’ve reminded your partner about what he needs to do, just watch and think.
Why?
So you can see if things are actually getting better before you spend more time trying!
As you rebuild trust and set boundaries after cheating, there are some important changes you should notice in the relationship. Think of it like a checklist!
Here are signs that things are getting better:
- Your partner admits their mistakes and tries to fix them.
- You feel safe and respected.
- Your partner respects your limits and works to regain your trust.
- You both talk openly and honestly.
Both of you should grow after what happened, but it takes time and effort.
There’s no quick fix!
You can be happy again with your partner if you’re ready to work on it!
7. Prioritize Self-Care
And, when you’ve done all these things and it starts feeling like a lot, remember it’s an act of self-care. It’s okay to focus on your own needs and feelings in the relationship.
Loving yourself in a world full of lies and judgments isn’t easy.
Society often tells us who we should be and how we should be loved, leading us to strive for perfection, which is impossible!
Being cheated on can make you feel even worse because it can highlight all your insecurities.
Many of us find it easier to love others more than ourselves.
But self-love is crucial for healing.
Start taking care of yourself like you do for others.
Pay attention to what makes you happy outside the relationship, whether it’s walking in nature, doing yoga, or talking to a therapist.
And for ultimate self-love, say these words in front of a mirror:
“You are worthy. You are loved. You are enough.”
Wrapping Up
When you first found out your boyfriend cheated on you, it probably made you really angry.
So angry that you couldn’t even find the words to say.
So angry that it felt like your heart was breaking.
But after years of healing and a lot of patience, you managed to work through your issues together. Setting boundaries after infidelity isn’t easy, but it’s necessary if you want to rebuild trust and have a healthy, happy relationship.
It’s not just about loving yourself, it’s also about making sure your needs and feelings are important in any relationship. With time and effort, you and your partner can move forward and create a better future together.
