So, you dated this man, thinking he could be something special.
But then, things started seeming weird.
You couldn’t shake off that feeling that something wasn’t right.
And guess what? You were right to be suspicious. Turns out, he wasn’t just seeing you. He was seeing other people too!
If you’re seeing some red flags in your own relationship, wondering if he’s seeing others too, keep reading. You’ll figure out what to do next, or if you’re just overthinking things.
1. He Doesn’t Want A Serious Relationship
You might be in a relationship that feels romantic but not too serious. He’s nice to you, acts like a boyfriend, but when it comes to important stuff, he dodges the topic.
This a “situationship,” not a real relationship.
At first, it might seem like a regular relationship, with emotions and closeness. But it’s missing that commitment and being exclusive.
If he really wants you, he’ll make it clear and ask you to be exclusive. Otherwise, you’ll always wonder if you’re really in a relationship with him, if he’s even sure about it.
2. He’s Vague About What You Two Are
Your partner might not be sure about what to call your relationship for various reasons. Maybe he’s not sure about you yet or he’s not ready for a serious, exclusive relationship.
If he’s hesitant to label your relationship, it could be a sign he’s seeing other people too.
Your partner might be one of those guys who prefer dating around and being with different people — like Connor in “Ghost of Girlfriends Past”!
He might not be ready to commit to a serious relationship with you because he still wants to have his freedom. It’s worth thinking about: How can you have a romantic relationship with someone you don’t know well?
3. He Keeps His Friends A Secret
If he doesn’t chat with you enough for you to get to know him, how could he ever talk about his friends? He might feel awkward talking about his personal stuff with you for some reason. Or maybe he just doesn’t think it’s a big deal to share that info.
But hold on, it could be even worse — he might be married.
That’s why it’s important to pay attention to this sign while you’re still dating.
4. He Often Forgets Things About You
You’ve shared with him where you work, where you like to go, and what you’re into. Dating is all about learning about each other, building the foundation of your relationship.
It’s okay if people forget things sometimes, especially when they’re busy or have a lot on their mind.
But if your boyfriend keeps getting mixed up about important details, it might be a cause for concern.
He might have a bunch of other women in his life, including you, and he’s having trouble keeping track of them all!
And if he’s that busy…
5. He Doesn’t Contact You Regularly
If he’s got a lot on his plate with work, other stuff, and personal problems, it makes sense if he’s not always reaching out to you.
But if you’re the only one starting conversations, sending texts, or asking him to hang out at your place, it could be a sign he’s seeing other people too.
Perhaps he got what he wanted from pursuing you and is now occupied with others.
And that brings me to the next point:
6. He’s Hard To Get Hold Of
Imagine you’re dealing with a family emergency.
Naturally, you’d turn to your partner for support, so you give them a call.
But guess what? They don’t show up or even bother to check in.
Here’s the thing: When things get personal and your partner has to meet your family but backs out, it could be a sign they’re seeing other people too.
Meeting your family can be overwhelming, especially for someone who’s dating lots of people.
It’s not just about feeling uncomfortable; it also means remembering details like names, jobs, and ages of your family members. Someone juggling multiple partners might not have the patience for all that. Plus, they probably don’t want to risk running into mutual friends or the friends of their other partners!
And what’s his first reaction? It’s the survival instinct kicking in.
7. He’s Always Busy
Have you ever had your partner unexpectedly show up for dinner?
Yep, he had dinner with you, stayed over, and then disappeared before you knew it?
Or maybe you bumped into him by chance in a coffee shop or mall, but he hurried off, saying he’d call later?
If he keeps popping in and out, he might be fitting other women into his schedule.
Clearly, planning ahead isn’t his strong point.
8. He Avoids Making Plans
Meeting someone who’s laid-back and easygoing can be a nice change.
But when you’re in a relationship, dealing with someone who’s always improvising can be super annoying.
It might also be a sign he’s seeing other people and likes to keep his schedule open for them.
It might feel too soon to start making big plans when you’re just dating. But it’s nice to have an idea of where he’ll be spending his weekends, holidays, and other important times.
Instead of making plans, your partner might just keep talking about the rules of your “situationship.”
9. He Likes To Set The Rules
Ever felt like you can’t call your guy at work, drop by his place unexpectedly, or even check his phone? Sound familiar?
Having boundaries in a relationship is important.
But if your man puts limits on almost everything, that’s a big issue.
It’s not just controlling or manipulative (which is already bad enough!), he might be trying to keep you away from his personal stuff, so you don’t find out any secrets he’s hiding.
10. He Doesn’t Like Surprises
Making someone you care about happy with a surprise and getting a nice reaction back feels amazing.
But if he’s got anxiety or had bad experiences with surprises before, he might not like it.
He might also be uneasy if you show up at his place or work with a gift because he’s living a double life and doesn’t want to get caught.
Even if your partner isn’t into surprises usually, it doesn’t mean he won’t surprise you sometimes (or even if there are no surprises at all).
11. He Often Buys You Gifts
Remember my college friend? Her partner always gave her gifts when they were dating.
Yeah, it made her feel good, but those gifts were mostly to say sorry for something.
We never got to meet the guy, but we found out he was seeing other girls too, which is why they split.
Just remember: Gifts can’t make up for honesty, talking things out, and trusting each other in a relationship.
And they definitely shouldn’t be used as a way to control or manipulate!
12. He Has A Past Of Dating Around
If you hear from others that the guy you’re dating has a history of dating lots of women, it’s worth paying attention to.
Starting a relationship based on rumors isn’t good because it can cause mistrust and confusion.
But here’s the thing: Women talk. They share their experiences to help others avoid the same problems.
If you don’t know much about his past, it’s a good idea to check out his social media.
13. He Shows Off A Lot On Social Media
If he spends a lot of time at the gym and cares a lot about his appearance, he might just be vain.
But if you see him posting a lot on social media and chatting with other women in the comments, that could be a sign he’s seeing more than one person.
But being active on social media alone doesn’t prove anything.
If he’s always trying to impress women online and puts in a lot of effort to do so, he might not be interested in being in a committed relationship.
Social media could be how he attracts women to his multiple-partner setup.
14. He Keeps His Phone Use Private
Have you noticed any strange caller IDs when he gets calls?
Does he leave the room to answer them and speak in a secretive way? It’s okay for him to want privacy, but if it makes you feel uneasy, it might be because he’s seeing other women.
And if he’s got lots of women in bed with him…
15. He’s Always Tired Or Not Up For Much
If he says no to having a drink before spending the night with you, it might mean he’s seeing other people too.
Maybe he’s just tired and wants to sleep.
But sometimes, it seems like he finds comfort in sex, and that might surprise you…
16. He Wants Sex More Than Before
If the guy you’re dating seems to want sex all the time, it could mean he’s seeing other people too.
It’s like the Coolidge effect, where guys feel more excited about sex with different partners, even if they don’t need to reproduce.
He might be trying out new things he learned from someone else and wants to see if you like them too.
17. He Mixes Up His Stories
You might have thought he was busy with work and dealing with his own stuff.
But when everything adds up, you start to see the truth. Once you see how it all fits together, it’s not confusing anymore—it’s clear you’ve been tricked.
Being lied to hurts, especially when you’ve put time and feelings into a guy.
Lies can really mess up trust and relationships. Trust is super important in any good relationship, and if it’s broken, it’s hard to fix.
So, what’s the bottom line?
If lying starts right at the beginning of dating, it’s not a good start for a relationship. You wouldn’t want that, especially if you’re aiming for something long-lasting.
18. He Makes You Feel Guilty
Even though confronting someone isn’t always easy, sometimes you have to do it.
If your partner often blames you, acts like they’re the victim, tries to control your feelings, makes you feel guilty, or uses reverse psychology when things go wrong, they might be seeing other people.
And that’s a major warning sign for you! This is how a narcissist acts when they’re in a situation they can’t control.
That’s why it’s important for you to know yourself well. It helps you recognize and talk about what you want and what you won’t accept.
